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Being cheated on is one of the most painful, shattering experiences, one that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. You feel betrayed, your trust is destroyed, your self-esteem is ravaged, and you can’t stop questioning what you did wrong and what signs you must have missed.

The one thing I wish I had realized a decade ago, when the guy I considered to be the love of my life cheated on me, is that it really had nothing to do with me, it was the result of his own internal issues. The reason I was so confused back then is I didn’t have an understanding of the male psyche, and I didn’t know the internal psychological factors that cause men to cheat.

Still, I had this overpowering feeling that if I didn’t keep the relationship together that it somehow meant I was a failure.

And she said that she would love to be friends if that could be possible. I lacked the experience back then to realize that the relationship didn’t have anything I really valued to begin with.Long story short (too late), she left for the summer that year and then dumped me one week before she came back over the phone.She said she loved me, but it just wasn’t working anymore. Then I went out, got drunk with my buds and hooked up with the first girl I could find. In fact, it had almost nothing to do with my ex or the relationship and everything to do with how I thought of myself.When a woman cheats, it’s usually because her emotional needs are no longer being met—maybe she no longer feels seen or cared for or understood.When a man cheats, it is most often because he feels like a loser in the relationship.

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