You got out money so you must have been asking for it', but we do say to victims of sexual assault 'why was your skirt so short? ' "It has to change."Just down the road at Antioch College they have long taken a radical approach to preventing sexual offences.
Here, any touch requires clear enthusiastic verbal permission, a policy called affirmative consent.
There is an epidemic of sexual violence on America's college campuses, according to some researchers.
It's the quickest way to locate information that might be buried away in more than 400 web pages, over 500 PDF files, newspaper articles, census transcriptions and trade directories.
In the university archive, they have kept a record of how the Antioch rules, as they were called, were mocked all over the world, even immortalised on a Saturday Night Live sketch. She said: "I mean to me it's so obvious, it's so not a big deal, it's like instead of 'did she say no, did you ask?
' It's just a flip of the switch, which so many great ideas are."Nearly three decades later, versions of the Antioch rules have become commonplace on campuses across the country, sparking fierce debate about whether universities are going too far in their scramble to solve the problem Lawyer Andrew Miltenberg has defended hundreds of accused young men who find themselves investigated by colleges - whether or not the police are involved.
But I was taken aback at how candid they were, particularly about how the mix of alcohol and risk-taking makes them vulnerable, and why consent is nowhere near as straightforward as it should be."It happens I feel like, and then the next day you're like, 'well wait, did I say yes? Student Shelby Ebert said: "I think the biggest problem we have on campus is drinking too much and having sex, and then you're like 'oh, I probably shouldn't have done that', you know?
And then you're like 'do you consent when you're drunk'? "In a bar near one campus we are told over and over again that the #metoo movement has not had enough impact on attitudes and behaviour among the student population.