What the hell does being warm and fuzzy have to be with being a great leader? if it wasn’t for all these damn people we have to work with, we might actually get some work done. While not a show stopper, or a derailer, if completely ignored, there could have negative consequences that impact your effectiveness as a leader. I’m only coming out of the closet like this as an example of someone that’s learned to adapt their behavior to meet the needs of my career, family, and to be a better leader and person.
I’m naturally reserved, don’t show a lot of emotion, think before I speak, and hate making small talk with people I don’t know very well.
Bdend-1g /* Trending Now */ /* Center Rail */ #ya-center-rail .profile-banner-default .ya-ba-title #Stencil . Bgc-lgr #ya-best-answer, #ya-qpage-msg, #ya-question-detail, li.ya-other-answer .tupwrap .comment-text /* Right Rail */ #Stencil . Bxsh-003-prpl #yai-q-answer, #ya-trending, #ya-related-questions h2. Fw-300 .qstn-title #ya-trending-questions-show-more, #ya-related-questions-show-more #ya-trending-questions-more, #ya-related-questions-more /* DMROS */ .
You’re quiet and don’t speak up to avoid being attacked. This person might even be a subordinate – somebody who works for you (believe me, this happens more than you might think.) You probably sense a lack of ‘parity’– that you don’t have the right to engage with this person at the same level.
This person might be tall in stature, eliciting a ‘fight or flight’ response in you. Does this person use coarse language or aggressive words? Perhaps this person is a mystery to you – one moment they seem on side, and the next against you?
Do they behave in a way that leaves you puzzled and not knowing what to do next? You probably don’t see them behaving meekly, rather, you see their fight response, shrouded as intimidation or aggression.
Or this person could be a colleague – someone who uses clever words and exerts personal power or expert power that you believe you can’t compete with.
You might feel useless when you work with this person.In this case, I’m extremely qualified to give advice on something I suck at.So what are the potential behavioral, or leadership implications for someone who’s a natural introvert, and/or somewhat reserved?No, you don’t have to have to be wearing a dumb grin all the time – just do it when you greet someone or pass them in the hallway. I’m not talking about sharing your thoughts around your latest theory on leadership – I mean personal information. Presentation skills are a learned skill – we can all get better with instruction and hard work. Reserved leaders may come across as uninterested, or not listening, because they don’t show a lot of emotion or provide many visual cues.Interesting cultural note: In Rome, Italians smile at strangers. Doing so helps build trust and relationships – it’s a bonding ritual. I’ve written about this before – presentation skills are a MUST for any leader. Practice nodding your head, making eye contact, sit up straight, ask questions, and check for understanding.