You're banned for 24 hours, but anyone willing to respect the community standards is welcome to try again."I got bounced out of a room my first day because I didn't know what 'directing' was," Kirk says, laughing."If you ask somebody to do something on their cam, boom, you're out.The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says."Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.And if you're not willing to make the investment, go to a cam-girl site and pay to play instead.Because I've been an observer but not sexually active online for the past few years, I called up Kirk (not his real name), an administrator in an adults-only webcam community.Women have told him that they prefer to see faces to cocks, so he keeps his camera pointing higher, à la Beautiful Agony.And just so you know, these women aren't saying "I'd rather see your face" to avoid hurting his feelings. But even those of us who delight in dicks want to see your facial expressions, too.
And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms – normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity.Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort.If you do fall ass over teakettle for someone you meet online, Kirk suggests confining the "honey baby sugar darling" talk to private sessions.It kills the mood if you toss too many endearments around in public, and mood is very important in adult chat.